Never Argue With Idiots

[Erich Friend]

They will drag you down to their level, and then they will beat you with experience.

It sometimes seems like a never-ending battle when you are trying to get people to do things your way.  Especially if your way takes more time, money, or effort.  You can throw your arms up in the air and walk-away mumbling, or you can explode at them, or you can stop and take a deep breath and try one more time to get your point across.

Sometimes it is necessary to step back and assess the issue with a little distance between you and the problem.  Once you’ve let your blood pressure settle-down, take an inventory of the situation:

How-come-why-for.  Have you been explaining how you want something done without explaining why you want it done a certain way?  If your staff or crew don’t see the bigger picture then they will tend to ‘tune you out’ and just look at the most expedient solution.  Help them to understand your reasoning for wanting something done a particular way.

• Make sure they see the all of the goals.  ‘Getting it done’ or ‘getting it over with’ are not goals unto themselves; and neither is ‘because I asked you to do this’.  Every project, large or small, has end goals:  “So the upstage wall will look like a sun-drenched porch and convince the audience that they are in front yard of the farmhouse” can inspire the workers to achieve a look and feel that is integral to the performance.  Additional goals might be ‘so we can say we did this using only recycled scenery’ and/or ‘so we don’t have worry about it falling apart half-way through the show’.
• The rational for doing something can also involve policies or rules that are established by the departments, schools, venues, cities, states, or federal governments.  This can be particularly helpful in depersonalizing your request / demand.  If everyone understands that this rule is not up for debate and that it was created or legislated by persons or entities beyond their sphere of influence, then they are much more willing to comply with it, and they will be less inclined to harbor resentment towards you for enforcing it.  Make it “They said you have to do this,” not “I said you have to do this.”

The Rule of Unintended Consequences.  Are there consequences should they not follow your instructions?

• Suppose a particular material is not used – the device could break and fall down.  This might, in-turn, cause someone to be injured or for the show to be cancelled.
• Suppose a particular procedure is not followed – the order in which work is performed can affect the outcome.  This is particularly important in keeping a workspace clean.  If you pick-up the drop-cloth before you finish painting, then paint drips and spatter can get onto the floor.  This means extra time must be expended to clean-up the floor (not too difficult if it is a hard stage floor, but this can be really expensive if it is a carpet in someone’s home, office, or in a church).
• Suppose a particular safety rule is not obeyed – the person, or their co-workers, might be injured (or worse) and may not be able to participate in the upcoming show (or worse – not participate in their upcoming career or life).  One consequence may be that they are not allowed to participate in the show.  The treat of banishment can be a powerful tool, too.

Playing nice helps, too.  No one likes to be blind-sided by demands.  Know your strategy going into a project and document your expectations up-front.  The sooner the better so that the staffing, financial, and logistical impact can be integrated into the show and not heaped-on as an afterthought.

• Way Early:  Establish operational rules and guidelines before school starts, or soon into the semester.  This allows everyone to know what is expected for all of the shows to be mounted.  Include references to rules by others (NFPA, OSHA, Child Labor Laws, Insurance carriers, etc.) that may affect the work and operations.
• Early:  In the preliminary planning meetings you can remind others that there are already rules and guidelines established and that they are all an integral part of the particular presentation being planned.  Provide copies of the rules to those attending the meeting.  Highlight the need to have costume fabrics treated with fire retardant on the copy you give the costumer;  highlight the building code requirements for safe steps and railings to the set crew; etc.
• In Development:  As you get a chance to review the script and set requirements make sure to note any items that may be directly affected.  If the scene calls for flying monkeys:  Note the need to budget professional riggers.  If the scene calls for a sword fight:  Note blocking requirements to the director, weapons locker procedures for the stage manager, and fight choreography requirements to the fight master.  If the scene calls for black-out:  Note the NFPA minimum illumination requirements for houselights to the lighting designer.
• In Situ:  You see one 6’-6”, 120 pound freshman carrying a 15’ truss section by themselves in the dark backstage.  Request that they get two people to carry the unit so that each end is guided and the weight is shared, and that they have additional staff to clear the travel path and hold doors open for them so they don’t tear-up the building and clatter around backstage.  Explain to them that you would prefer that they don’t damage the truss, the building, themselves, or other performers and crew.  They’ll probably get that.

When all-else fails, have the workers take a time-out.  Yelling at someone while they are right in the middle of being an idiot can just frustrate the problem.  Get them to stop what they are doing and come to your office, go out in the hallway, or step away from the task.  There is no need to ‘get into it’ in front of the other staff and crew.  Explain to them clearly what you see them doing and why it is not in the best interest of the show, safety, or other co-workers to continue or repeat what they are doing.  Have them help you explore better / safer ways of getting the job done so that they feel like they are a part of the solution.

Later, after the dust settles, have a constructive and objective discussion with the entire crew about an issue that came-up during the last rehearsal or run of the show.  No need to call-out people for what they did wrong.  Instead, discuss it dispassionately.  Discuss the benefits that came from a collaborative effort to get the activity more efficient and safer.  Invite further discussion so that the entire crew can feel like they contributed to making it better the next time.

Play Nice.  Play Safe.  Have Fun.